I missed my Portland-versary! I moved to Portland at the end of  July 1999. That makes 12 years. I lived in Utah for just under 12 years and Houston for 10 year. So, that makes Portland the place I have lived longer than another other. By my calculations, that makes it home. Dear Portland, I still love you after 12 years as much as I did when I first moved here. I love the green earthy smell that I hoped I would never lose the ability to sense and I love that the smell of sun-baked bark dust is just as much a signifier of Portland summer as it was when my mother would bring us up here to her homeland when we were children.

I was also thinking how quickly time has gone when I realized that Paul and I have been living together for 5.5 years. How did that happen? That’s almost half of my time in Portland?! I know how we have done it, we have been enjoying ourselves. 5.5 years is longer than the 3 years I was married to someone else and almost as long as 6 years I was together with that person. It blows my mind at the drudgery those 6 years were vs. my life now. I can’t even imagine being in a relationship again where every day was a struggle, and I can’t even remember how I handled it. Oh wait, I handled it by sleeping a lot and crawling into a shell, too afraid to speak with people.

Anyway… I am thankful for my 12 years in Portland, 11 years of the Portland Zine Symposium, 10 years of living in my house, and 34 years on this planet. I am enjoying growing older and becoming more myself everyday.

I draw tarot cards daily as a sort of focus for the day. Yesterday morning, in the middle of the Portland Zine Symposium stress, I pulled a card. The card was the 3 of Cups. I saw it as a reminder that the symposium is supposed to be fun. It is supposed to be a celebration of zines and print and community. I’m going to try to keep that in mind in the upcoming hectic days.


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